Next month I'll be 23. I know 23 is still extremely young, but there aren't any fun songs about this age and it's kind of like, "Well, I'm 3 years in, guess I'm committed to my 20s. Now what?"
My attitude about life has changed drastically over the past year. Growing up just happens, sometimes without even noticing. I have my own place and my own responsibilities. The things I used to find myself enjoying aren't quite the same these days. The way I view the world and other people has softened. The friendships I have now are with people I enjoy having in my life, not focused on what "they should be" to me, or what "I should be" to them. Even the way I spend my money is different. I've let go of old grudges. And with one year of college left (woo-hoo!) I'm thinking about the future now more than ever. I've compiled a few funny moments of realization that led me to this ultimate conclusion - I'm growing up.
Forever21 scares me. Like, a lot. I used to waltz through that store like a champ. Give me and my best gal pals a couple of hours in there and we could walk out with four new outfits for our weekend of partying, and have only spent $50. I have always prided myself on my bargain shopping abilities but am now using them for a better cause. The name "Forever 21" is because the clothes are at a price and style that someone clinging to be forever 21, will find appealing. It never fails, I walk in with a positive attitude looking for something "cheap and trendy" to add to my closet collection, but within three minutes I'm having a mini panic attack and decide that these shorts that show my butt cheeks may be $7, and I may have seen them on someone's Pinterest board, but it's just not worth it. Thank you for the memories Forever21, but we are over. *sigh*
And to add to that...I suck at shopping. Shopping used to be my thing. I could spend hours at the mall, parading through the stores, picking up a little something at every place I go. Now I go to the mall and don't buy a single thing. Spending money on clothes and shoes just isn't as much fun as it used to be. Maybe because I have actual things to pay for now. Every item I pick up, I can talk myself out of. "How often will I really wear this strappy sundress? Are these wedges even practical? Is this too sheer for work --- I mean I am there 5 out of 7 days of the week." Anyone who knows me, or has known me in my younger years will agree that THIS HAS NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM FOR ME. Where is Mason and what have you done with her? My current shopping trips are now for solely practical things. I went shopping last weekend and all I bought was a yoga towel on clearance. People say this new "problem" I have is a good thing, but as an ex-shopaholic, it's a tad bit heartbreaking. Side note: I am really excellent at grocery shopping though.
I need alone time. I never thought that I would say that. But let me tell ya, after an early morning gym trip, followed by 3 college classes and a 6 hour shift at work, my day has been well-over 12 hours long and I'm ready to sit in some peace and quiet. As much as I love people and socializing, it's exhausting. Especially when you have a job that requires you to smile and be pleasant to everyone you come in contact with regardless of how much sleep you got last night. Adult days are draining. The way I recharge now is typically on the couch, watching a show on Netflix with pajamas on and a beer in hand.
Since when do I actually like beer? It happened so suddenly. I remember a few years ago explaining to my friends that I didn't understand how people truly enjoy a beer and I knew I never would. Every bar I went to you could catch me with an LIT or some other fruity drink in hand. At one point I was even taking Crystal-Light packets in my purse to add to my $2 water & vodkas (which is a great idea, by the way ;) you're welcome). Very rarely will you see me with either of those these days.This year I've really been exploring the craft beer world and I don't think there's any going back now. I guess growing up sometimes involves changing taste buds. 20 year old me would be shocked.
I don't exercise to be "hot" anymore. The reason I originally got in the gym almost 3 years ago, was because I wanted my body to be appealing to other people. Yes, I still want to be attractive and fit, but not in an obsessive way. I do go to the gym or yoga at least 4 times a week, but I'm doing it now because it makes me feel good. I thoroughly enjoy kicking ass in the gym and the satisfaction I get after a really tough class. My body is happier and I'm happier when I'm active. I feel strong and empowered. I'm not dieting or even trying to get abs at this point. I just want to enjoy a long, healthy life and taking care of myself plays a big role in that. I don't want to look back at age 40 and wish I would've started earlier. Taking future me into consideration.
My body was physically rejecting my belly button ring. Yep, it sounds crazy. But for a while now I've been in a constant battle just hanging on to my precious belly button gem that I so desired 7 years ago. I have lost more rings in the past 3 months than in the entire time I've had it. It would fall out, it would be a painful struggle to put it back in, I feel defeated. My body has literally been shoving it out. And here I was thinking I still had a few more solid years with it before it was time to say goodbye. Nope. My 2001 "Genie in a Bottle" Christina Aguilera days are over. Goodbye youth.
On a serious note, I've never been more excited about my future. Starting my senior year of college in just two weeks has me giddy. I love my school and I love my major. With a few awesome internship opportunities in the works and only two semesters left I absolutely can't wait to be done. I love what I'm studying and I'm so ready to start the job hunt that kicks off my career. I'm realistic, I don't expect my first job to be my dream job, but I'm hopeful about every opportunity that pushes me in that direction.
So adulthood may mean twerking it up in the club less, and trading out your tube tops for slacks, but all in all it seems promising. I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned so far and I still have many more to conquer. I can only imagine that this list will continue to grow. But for now...
That's what's in my jar.
